Playing Santa

I've heard it be said that "it's the thought that counts". With my budget, I seem to have far more thoughts to spare than money. So what follows is a list of gifts that I would like to give if only I could. The list of people ranges from the naughty to the nice, but I believe everyone on the list deserves what I'd like to give them.

• To Kate Mackley, I would give loads of itunes gift cards to help feed her "ipod of greatness" and make it even better. Wait, you can't improve on perfection. You can still try, though.


• To Scotty Mankoff, I would give you a state of the art professional camera. You're already proving to be one of the better photographers in the area. With an even better camera, it would just take you to another level. In other words, you'd be off the charts.


• To Camille Cortinas, I would give you a koala bear. Why? Just because.


• To Eric Swanson, I would get you a new car to drive, and I'd get you your 1959 Gibson Discoverer back.


• To the thieves who stole Eric's car, I would love to give you a new place to live. I'm thinking of something along the lines of a modest little jail cell.


• To Tomcats, Club One, Monkey Bar, and any other clubs didn't get their SUP permits, I'd give you those permits and get you back in business. Admittedly, none of the three clubs I frequented, but the market should determine their fate, NOT the city council.


• To the members of City Council who want to change the face of Deep Ellum, I would give you the gift of free time. I know that being a council member takes up a lot of time, so by taking away your positions, you would have all the time in the world on your hands.


• To Beard (aka John Brewer), I would pay off any leftover debt from your hospital bills and make sure that there would be no return trips to the hospital. Oh, I almost forgot... I'd also leave Halle Berry under the Christmas tree for you. Have fun unwrapping that gift!


• To Bill Holston, I would release Aung San Suu Kyi from her unrightful imprisonment. And then we could celebrate with a nice, tall pitcher of ice cold Shiner Bock.


• To Winston Edmondson, I wish that every radio listener would turn their dials to 1360 AM every Saturday at 1 pm and listen to your show.


• To all the bands that I love and adore, I wish you much success. May the world see what talent every one of you possesses.

And finally, to every one of my readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas. May this season be filled with joy and love. And music. Can't forget the music.